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Are you a ghost? Are you my mom's friend Janet?

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Or are you that dude I had sex with like four months ago whose number I deleted because he said "Jeah. Anxiety attacks every time you wait for the gynecologist to give you your STD test results.

Even though you always use condoms.

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Other women acting distrustful of you because you could potentially have sex with their boyfriends. No, thanks. Wondering if it's womem rude to ask him to leave after sex because you just sleep so much better when you can starfish in your queen bed by yourself.

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Oh please let me not be pregnant. Having to have access to condoms, whether you or he provides them.

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That awkward moment when he runs into your roommate by the bathroom. And you thought you had timed it so it would be awkward-free!

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The berth between "Ryan Gosling" and "upright bloated corpse" is approximately 3 a. Dealing with the obnoxious male assumption that you're always looking for something serious. We barely know each other and you think I want to marry you.

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Yesterday Dan did something soooo cute too. He played me an entire set of Dave Matthews Band covers on the kazoo and dedicated them to our great love.

I went out with a guy who had a creepy earring the other day? Needing to be conscious of body qants maintenance, whatever that means to you.

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Or a toothbrush. Photo Credit: Gallery Stock Anna Breslaw Writer. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below.